I remember him going through recovery before and there were such personality shifts. This weeks personality was different than last weeks. I know it will take time for him to sort it out. He hasn't stayed sober long enough to remember who the 'real' him is. So I never know who to expect. I am glad for him, he is where he needs to be.
Thanks for the advice. I do need to relax. He even said that when he was in recovery before. I found all his 'adjusting' rather stressful at times. He would explain that it was him being careful and taking care of himself. He would sometimes step back from the relationship but again, explained why. It is going to take time and I do need to be patient and not expect that in an instant he is going to be 'all better'.
It is more that his reality is sinking in. I had this fantasy which I thought I had dealt with but I guess I didn't. He is a sick man with a huge issue to work on. I only wish he was stronger but that only comes with time and lots of hard work. I'm very hopeful. I am always supportive but I guess what you say about wanting to be needed emotionally is partly true. He came to really need me before he checked in (not in a 'give me money and things' way) but an emotional type of neediness. Maybe I mistook it for closeness or emotional intimacy? I don't know. That is where I get confused.