Welcome to the SR family!
You will find loads of support and information here. We understand what it is like living with a loved one that is addicted to alcohol. You are not alone.
I am sorry about your wife's diagnosis, and about her choices.
One of the first things I learned here was the three C's of addiction:
I did not cause it
I can not control it
I will not cure it
It helped me to put the responsiblity back where it belongs: with the addict.
There are permanent (sticky) posts at the top of this forum. They contain some of our stories and lots of wisdom. This is a link to a sticky that contains steps that have helped some of us:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html