Welcome back jhay - and sorry you're having a rough time emma.
I hung out here a lot in the early days - reading and posting, helping others helped take me out of myself and my misery.
One of the best things I read here was to live in today - the past is gone, however much we wish it was different...the only day we can really affect is today.
The first few days are rough - but they were no rougher than the drunken life I was living before that. You guys can do this
D