Originally Posted by
Music 
In reading some of these posts, it appears to me that sponsors were fired because they didn't do things fast enough, or soon enough to suit some of you. Having a sponsor is more than having someone take us through the steps. It's also about following instructions and learning patience. I see a lot of "I want what I want and I want it now" attitude. When I came to AA I knew what I wanted all right, it's just that what I wanted was digging a hole I couldn't get out of. Truthfully, I didn't have a clue what to do nor how to do it and the first thing I had to do was to learn discipline. Follow directions!!!
I know, for me, that's exactly what my motivations were. It was addict thinking- magical thinking whatever one wants to call it. I wanted recovery like a pill or a drug- work immediately and make me feel better dangit! Why wasn't AA/recovery working the way *I* wanted it to?
Once God showed me that I was trying to control AA and try to use it like a drug- that's when I stopped and tried to be still.
I know a lot of non-alcoholic people. They don't freak out when they have to wait in a doctor's waiting room. They don't get antsy when taking a class that will take them six months. I've sure never seen a non-alcoholic freak out because a medication took two weeks to make them feel better.
Now me? I want it all in one go! Two weeks is too long, I say! Gimmie gimmie gimmie is the mantra in my head that I'm trying to find a way to stop.
And that's how I know I'm sick- I'll do AA as long as the meetings are when I want them. As long as the meetings are where I want them. As long as my sponsor does everything I want and nothing I don't. As long as I'm better within a year. As long as.....
It's the opposite of what I did with alcohol. I'll stop if I can't afford it. I'll stop if I do X one more time. I'll stop when I get a DUI. I'll stop when I'm homeless. As long as...
I never let anything get between me and booze but I'll let everything come between me and sobriety.