View Single Post
Old 11-03-2010, 06:46 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
skg
Member
 
skg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
I have been asked to be a sponsor for guys who wanted sobriety, but didn't want to do the work--or they want to do it their own way for whatever reason. I say to them, "You try that if you think it'll help, and when you're ready to do The Steps, I'll be honored to help."
Sobriety is serious business and I'm not going to try to convince an alcoholic that he needs to get well. Alcohol is a great advocate, and if someone isn't willing to do the work--or wants to 'tailor' The Steps, then go for it. My experience is that my best thinking got me a seat in AA. I wish them well, but I have to do it the way it was done for me. There is not a shortage of suffering people who need help.

I ALSO suggest that the person do 90/90 and that usually weeds out the ones who want sobriety by the weekend. My sponsor wasn't there to be a pal or a companion, but to help me with The Steps, and if that meant me going to his house every Thursday afternoon at 4:00 when it was convenient for him, then BY GOD I was there--and called to verify I was on my way! I feel the same way.

I tell every sponsee they're the ones that have to do the work--I can't do it for them. It's a program of action, not assimilation. I needn't 'test' anyone, either. Alcohol does that by itself.

I can't tell the starter of this thread what his sponsor's motivations are, but you can get with anyone to read the Big Book, talk about ideas, show up early to meetings for fellowship, share drunk-a-logs with anyone, but sponsorship is about guidance through The Steps.
Have I said The Steps enough yet?
skg is offline