So after further thought, it seems that if I want a full life, I must give life my full attention.
Running from life doesn't work for me, never really did. In fact, it left me an emotional misfit, and one who has never really experienced life in many years.
So I'll have to start back where I left off, somewhere in high school I guess. Sure, I've went to college, but didn't learn much in terms of how life is, just learned allot of stuff that didn't interest me much at all. I'm probably at the eighth grade level emotionally, if I can be so bold. Thing is, if I have to go back to that level and start growing from there, do I have to deal with the acne stuff too, lol.
Being in someone's arms is not the same as being in their heart, and life is too short not to live it from the heart. I've lived seeing life through the bottom of a bottle for a long time and it distorts my vision.
Thanks for your replies and insights.