It took me a long time to work out who I was Dallas....
like months - of continued sobriety, before the fog really lifted, before I could even look at the things in my past I needed to, and before I could trust myself and my instincts.
You may need help to look at your back catalogue, I dunno - but my advice is don't run ahead. Not drinking is enough of a to do list right now I think.
Sometimes it's enough to simply be where we are & sober - often times I found looking back there was a damn good reason for it.
D