OK that last one made me laugh (but so true).
You have ruined our family (I refuse to accept the fact that my behavior really left you with no other chance than leaving to protect yourself and the kids.)
You're evil (I hate it when you are right and can't think of anything else to say)
I NEVER have more than 2 drinks. What is your problem? (So what if each drink has 4 shots of vodka in it--it's still only 2 drinks)
I get high because it relaxes me. (I do not want to face the reality of my life and it is easier to just zone out).
I give you plenty of money in child support. You spend it on yourself anyway, not the kids. (I don't want to get off my sorry a** and get a job so you can just go out and get a 2nd job to pay for everything. Besides I am mad as he!! because I cannot sponge off you anymore!)