missb89

This was posted by a lovely person over in the alcoholism forum and I just had to share it. I've always felt of addiction as some dark force or spirit invading people. This kind of gave me the chills, let me know what you think...


I AM YOUR ADDICTION:

I hate anyone who claims to have a 'program'. I despise any and all references to a "Higher Power". To all those who come into contact with me - I wish you and your family shame, humiliation, and intense suffering. With your unwitting co-operation, I will bring you hell on earth.

Allow me to introduce myself, I am the ancient disease of addiction. I am rightfully called cunning, baffling and powerful, but this is a gross underestimation of me. I have killed millions of men, women and children in ways that absolutely defy the imagination. Most often I slowly drown your soul before grinding down your wasted body. I gleefully ruin your reputation, self-concept, and self-esteem. I specialize in marital, family and child trauma. I leave them all with fear, anxiety, and troubled dreams. I poison all with calculated efficiency and precision. My commitment to you and your loved ones' degradation and destruction is absolute.

I am the master of disguise and seduction. I mask myself as your lover, your best friend, and your 'ace in the hole'. With great stealth I invade your rationality. I initially seduce you with instant gratification, with a feeling of peace, a feeling of belonging. I pose as being able to help you cope better, relate to others better and even work better. I present myself as need 'fuel' for your creativity, and your social skills and intellectual ability. I make you feel painfully inadequate without me. Toward the end - you will consider dying if you are separated from me.

I am perfect and breathtaking in my pursuit of your mind, body and soul. I am more powerful than your love and commitment to friends, family, spouse, freedom, or life itself. You will compromise every decent value you have to serve me. I have established a velvet throne within your brain... I have imprisoned the real you. From now on your countenance nd actions will mirror my malignance. I will become your flesh.

I never grow weak, I never sleep. I am totally aware at all times. I know where your weakest point is. I tempt and taunt you in your dreams. I can only be exposed by other humans and I can only be displaced, by your awareness and action. I can't stand the light of day. I am intolerant of direct exposure. I hate anyone or anything that has the audacity to challenge my ownership and power over you. I will rage and fight bitterly to keep you. If possible I will kill you rather than let you be possessed by the real you again. I use you to defend me against those that try to help. Such audacity is mine alone.

I am known as being jealous and demanding. you will offer all of you to me as I dictate. You will lie, steal, cheat, scam, assault and humiliate yourself and others in order to serve me. You will actually believe in your own lies. I absolutely will not tolerate disobedience from you - you may at times catch a horrifying glimpse of me and try to run away. You may make these pathetic attempts again and again. But you can never run fast enough because you carry me along with you... I control you completely. Yet I am not satisfied with the extent of the corruption that I cause within you. I want more. I want it now, and I won't stop shrieking within the back of your mind until I get it.

I refuse to participate with you. I flatly refuse to be 'moderated' by you in any way. I will only consent to outright ownership of you, every bit of you. Completely, 24 hours a day until your 'untimely' death. I refuse to make 'deals' with you. I will not make any exception for you. Let me make this clear: You will forsake all other things, people and places for me. I am relentless, I can strike as fast as a rattlesnake, or I can torment you for decades. Of this be sure - as long as you life, I exist.

Foolish people do not take me seriously. They take strokes, cancer, and heart attacks seriously. This is fine with me. Ignorance allows me to flourish unchallenged. I have been killing people like you for a millennia. I am a disease of the mind, body, character, and soul. How unique. The success of my corruption lies within your ignorance of who I am and what I do. I want you to believe that you alone are more powerful than me. I want you to believe that you are the exception to the rule. I whisper these lies into your mind with unrelenting consistency. I make your enemies your friends, and I will make your friends your enemies. I make you defensive and angry, I make you feel self-pity, that 'no one understands you'. I make you believe your own lies. I make you alone even in the midst of your own family.

Even society protects me and my deviously murderous ways. Well meaning people tell you that I am caused by your supposedly 'addictive personality', your previous painful experiences, your maladaptive ways or your inability to think properly. Others tell you that I am caused by your 'bad character' or your 'immorality'. I am again underestimated. Listen now... I cause pain, pain does not cause me. I will own your life and gleefully engineer your death if allowed to continue my purpose unchecked.

I take the young and the old, men and women, the healthy and the frail. I take the wealthy, the poor, and the middle class. I lay claim to all those within my grasp. I'll take all races, all tastes, all customs, and all beliefs. The moralist, the achievers, the intellectuals and those of high willpower are those that I enjoy the most. Yet I take all. I am an equal opportunity destroyer.

Now, hear me well... Stay away from those loathsome 'twelve step' people. I hate those mealy-mouthed 'recovery' people. I despise their stupid meetings, their laughter, their freedom and thier 'Higher Power'. I hate everything they stand for. They do not fear me... do not listen to them, disregard them. Only their damned steps can take away what I have striven to perfect. They disprove me, expose me, and bring other people into contact with you to help you. This is unacceptable.

You didn't need these people before. You don't need them now. I warn you here and now - if you abandon me for these people and this new found 'freedom' from me... I shall wait patiently for you to make a mistake so I can return you to your ragged, tumbling Hell. I do not forgive. You have been warned... until then, I wish you misery and suffering.

(Author Unknown)