rubycanoe,
The others have given you good advice, and I can't offer anything better by way of suggestions. I'll just tell you that I'm sorry it's been a bad day, and I'm glad you're here.
I'm thinking of attending my first Al-Anon meeting on Thursday. Have you tried it? I have two dear friends who care about me and support me, but no one knows what it's like being married to an A, except others who have been there.
Hang in there. Here's to brighter times ahead.