I went through something similar just a few weeks ago. My sponsor was showing up late, we were taking two weeks or more to get through a few pages in the BB or do my step work questions- it was so frustrating.
I felt that I had to change sponsors. I felt confused, hurt and scared. I didn't want to have 'the talk' or have to find a new sponsor. I think terrified would be the best word!
So I did a little fourth step on it, talked to some AA people with good sobriety (not just long sobriety but good sobriety) and prayed.
I realized I had stopped calling every day, cut back on my meetings, didn't pray as often as I should have and had started to try to manage my own life again.
I was also running my life on feelings- now I'm five months sober so my feelings are all over the place. I'm up then down, confused then straight- it's a roller coaster for me. So, if I go by my emotions right now they're going to lead me nowhere but in a giant circle. My emotions can be affected by the tiniest things- did I sleep well last night? how long has it been since I ate? So for me, emotions aren't the best gauge to judge a situation.
So I realized what I was doing to hamper myself and that's the important bit. I can't control what my sponsor does, doesn't do, or what they give me. I can control, with my HP's guidance, what I do. So I asked her 'How do you think this sponsor/sponsee relationship is going?' It opened the floodgates and we had a great talk and now it's fine.
I also realized I was putting too much on my sponsor- almost making them my higher power. I was also using what my sponsor was doing/not doing as a distraction from my program. I would focus on her and not HP, her and not my disease, her and not my prayers.
I was just trying to take and take from our sponsor/ee relationship. My sponsor is still an alcoholic and my recovery depends on me being of service to others; so why wasn't I looking to see what I could do to help my sponsor? I still don't know the answer to that one
I do know now that by calling every day I don't give her fear that I might have started drinking again. I know that by being honest about what I think I need we can talk about it like healthy adults and find a solution- whatever that solution may be. I realize now that I exist to help her too- whether by letting her know that she's helping me or by asking one of my million little 'silly' questions that remind her what early recovery looks like and how she doesn't want to go back there!
The closer I get to recovery- the more my disease kicks and finds new ways to try and kill me. I had to realize that my disease is truly cunning, baffling and powerful. It makes me think that there are still things in this world I have control over and it's my 'JOB' to fix. For me, I've found that I just need to be willing to do the next right thing in the situation- whether that's praying, being kind or asking the question 'how do YOU feel about this?'.