Hi Niteowl,
First (((( Niteowl! )))). You can be in my club, I am emotionally unstable. LOL That's why I'm here. Wherever it started, the continued drama pushed me to a point where "psycho" was certainly an appropriate term. You're already on the road to better. You have removed yourself from the constant irritation. Now you can begin to focus less on the day to day nightmares and more on yourself. It doesn't have to happen again. And I also have to say that you set an example for your kids that I wish I had seen. You took initiative to end a bad situation instead of enduring it endlessly.
Going to alanon? Got a sponser? I bet working the steps would help you feel better about yourself.
Hugs!
Smoke