Abundance,
thanks for having the courage to share this with us. I understand your feelings - having lived through similar days being preoccupied with an addict. You are sharing VERY real consequences with us and hopefully, they will serve to wake someone up. I wasn't aware of how terribly my preoccupation with a man affected my ability to be a present mother until recently. I thought that I was doing a good job - but I really wasn't. I haven't had my custody affected but I carry a lot of remorse and guilt. I am doing a lot of living amends.
It's amazing how sick and deluded we become when we are involved with an addict/newly recovering addict. You are right - it is a terrible and deadly syndrome (co-dependency that is).
I'm sorry that this is happening to you. What a nasty wakeup call...but hopefully, your courageous sharing will allow that call to come to another before the damage is done. Moms out there - listen to Abs........ If you have children from another marriage or relationship then you are in danger of losing your kids if you are involved with an addict. Your children are being affected a whole lot more than you might be admitting to yourself. I know that that was the case in my situation. I can't get that time back - I wish that someone had had an intervention on me at the time and that I had listened.