Nightowl

I feel so ashamed that I got myself and my children into this mess with an alcoholic. Our lives have been chaos for 9 months. Our relationship was too much work and I became so anxious I was making myself sick. Plus I was also dealing with his alcoholic grown son. Now I feel so ashamed that I didn't see what this situation was doing to all of us. How do I get over this?

I went out with friends last night and they didn't say anything but some of them have a very different opinion of me now. Well my one friend who will say anything that comes to mind.......said I was psycho. she said it jokingly but it hurt. Since my divorce I have been unstable. I have been called that by some of my cyber friends before. I was on a support message board for divorced women and I was told I was emotionally unstable. All thise words hurt. I am ashamed I am at this point. I am worried about my kids. What kind of mother am I turning out tobe?? This morning I jut feel sick. My friends are ashamed of me and have labeled me "sick". This hurts me so badly.

And now when I think of the things that happened when I was with my A SO......I just can't believe I stuck around so long. What was I thinking?? I'm scared this will happen again. I'm scared my kids are ruined and screwed up for life. Argh! I can't shake this feeling of shame and guilt.