May I suggest books like
Melody Beatty- Codependent no more
Melody Beatty - The grief club (excellent book about coping with all kinds of changes, includes exercises)
Writing letters to AH, to this person that hurt you, to your parents about all of what you needed and didn't get...the burning them or trash them... and do it again... of course this goes way better with therapist guidance. All the stuff we have done these years won't magically go away, it takes a pro to know the way out, and we can help ourselves doing just like you are doing, observing, and making a decision not to be that person anymore.
I got therapy in 2 hours and can feel my resistance, but I am going anyway. I also just realized how much affection I need, and recently felt like a circus dog trying to get someone's attention. Yes..that is how I felt, trying to lure someone into thinking I'm fun, interesting, etc and I felt very uneasy. When we realize what we are doing we are already growing.
I liked Twilight. Did you watch "Remember me" also with Robert Pattinson?