I am glad you realize this.
Reading SR is like a window to the future-you see people suffering endlessly, after many losses - you see people satisfied and peaceful - just decide which one you want? "get busy living, or get busy dying" is something I have learned here.
So you choose to live? which is the support system you have that will help you "become sober"? besides SR what else do you have?
When I left I just resorted to SR for months. I wish I had asked for help sooner.
2 years forward and 2 years of NO PERSONAL CONTACT.The guy is the same drunk jerk he has always been.
I am starting to find and heal myself. This is priceless. I am so thankful, and happy, I am a person free of addictions. I am finding joy and feeling so much better compared to the rest of my life. Of course I am in the process and there are many things I need to change, etc. But overall I feel BLESSED I did not chose to stay for more.
What has worked for me lately, besides books, REAL FRIENDS, SR, Alanon literature, therapy, is to remember myself as a small girl. Go grab a picture of iloveme when she was small, very small. Look at her often.
You are in charge of her destiny. Your pain now, is nothing compared to the decades of hell awaiting if you go on. Just look at the sad glances in AA/alanon, the weariness, the illness, the senseless suffering. That small iloveme does not deserve that. Become her friend, heal.. (IMHO a professional is the only one that can guide you through this), become stronger, share your journey with us...
Imagine a huge room FILLED with gifts of all sizes (that was an actual dream of my mom)... all colors, all shapes... all that is going to be yours -- if you are brave. If you are consistent... any moment of joy you have known before will be nothing compared to the joy you will experience, if you give yourself that chance. Because you will be walking towards the light of HP and there is no greater love, there is no greater joy than the one HP provides.