I understand. For me it wasn't so much that I wanted him to suffer - it was that it was unjust. Noo, it can not be. Things must be just and FAIR. I didn't think it was just or fair. But, so what. It might not be. I know that when it comes down to it I have what I really want - freedom and my kids. None of it is fair really but then - no one said life was fair. I have to let the 'fair' thing go. :meditate: I mostly have.