Thank you SR Mommy's for your support. I cannot imagine what I would ever do if this were my child. I cannot. I know that I would NOT handle myself like MIL has, but I can't imagine the pain of it being your child.
Freedom, I too hope my child is never an addict. In some ways MIL and I experiences are ALOT alike. Her husband (xah's dad) left her for another woman. My xah left me for drugs, or rather I forced him out because of it. She crawled into a hole and cried for about 10 years abandoning her kids. Xah and xsil were left to relatives to be cared for. I guess the difference that I see now is that I won't ever leave or abandon my kids. My kids NEED me the most NOW. Difference is I'm here, doing what I need too, should. She turned the other cheek feeling sorry for herself. There is ALOT of resentment on my part because of her lack of parenting. It's blatantly obvious, I know. My friends/family are amazed @ her antics. XAH started drugs when he was about the age of my kids (10).
Just a thought to pass on Callie..."never explain...your friends and family don't need it, and your enemies will never believe it"...
Spot on. I've been so use to explaining him and his actions for so long, it's become ingrained I think. I like the advice CeCe had...
If they do ask, just tell them that he's an adult and you've stopped keeping track. About the only thing he deserves is the right to fix things (or not) his way, without word being passed around town on his every move.
Simple, to the point and places his actions/choices on him.
I could start to change it. I knew if I didn't, nothing would change except the people. I would still remain the common denominator. Avoidance is not recovery.
Ah Chino, such wisdom. Avoidance is not recovery. Which is what both XMIL and XAH are doing. To each their own I guess.
In rereading what I wrote last night, it's obvious the panic/frantic in my words. The anger in my words because of XMIL/XAH actions. AGAIN. The same panic when he left rehabs prematurely, when the cops showed up @ my door looking for him, when he had wreck after wreck, the walmart incident. The panic when I had this monumental thread going last winter and every single day it was something. The thread shut down, 'cause I was so immersed in the chaos that I couldn't see the forest for the trees. It is ALL the same panic. You all know what that is SR. That what in the heck now? Immediately sail into damage control. etc. Today I feel more @ peace knowing that this does not have to be my problem unless I let it be.