"We can be so "selfless" that we show them we aren't even worth the effort. We will take whatever little scraps they deign to throw at us. I have to change that."
Oh Keepinon, you have no idea how much I needed to read something like that. That is the story of my life with my AH and I also need to change it. Selfless to a fault ends up being a doormat...and the other person not even recognizing it in the slightest. It's how I've been, and essentially taught him that its okay to treat me like crud. I need to hang on to your words for my sanity sake...and a new way of living.
Anyway, I'm sorry for how this all worked out for you. But I applaud you in standing up for yourself in it. I hope your AD takes it to count and actually gains something positive from it. Take care.