Thank you to everyone for your insight. Some of it was very difficult to hear, but I appreciate it all. I will also be thinking of all the suggestion and facts. For the "I wanted to marry an alcoholic" statement. I don't think anyone wants to marry an alcoholic. I have been in counseling for the majority of my life and it seems I shall always be attracted to the alcoholic regardless of the tools I try to find. Although maybe marriage to one might fix that :-) I haven't been allowed to reply until now for some reason, but again, I do appreciate everyone's comments. I guess I have to suck it all up and either accept his bad with good, or maybe I'll leave him at some point. I truly have no idea right now. Thanks again!