Welcome to SR ABellaBaby.......but I'm sorry for the circumstances that bring you here.
It is so difficult to love an addict. They can be so charming and convincing and they make you feel good because only "you understand them". They use our love and our kindness as a tool to get what they want. And it hurts when we realize that.
There are a lot of people here who do know exactly what you're dealing with. I hope you stick around and learn things about addiction and about yourself.
In some odd way, I do appreciate the lessons I've learned about myself through my experiences with the addict in my life.
gentle hugs