Detachment is the hardest thing She is really trying to do the AA thing now and I will go to Al anon and see what I can learn there. I cannot imagine not feeling her pain when she hurts or her joy when she is happy. If you are detached from one won't you be from the other? I am trying to step back from trying to fix everything. She has forbidden me to call her friends when I am concerned about her or afraid for her and I am obeying this rule.