I snort something white that looks like crack but I'm assured is an oxy and somehow that makes it 'ok' for me....? I don't understand.
In my opinion, you accepted the drug because you were afraid or anxious about how your friends would react. I believe that our behavior is caused by our beliefs, and I think this really illustrates it. The other beliefs you mention--that it isn't like drinking, that it is safe because it isn't crack--aren't particularly rational; you know that. Strengthening your belief that drugs aren't part of your life is a good longterm goal. Deciding how you're going to avoid the next situation, or deal with it, is an important short term goal.
Getting some sleep might be the first step, though!
Don