Quote from forge: ((( he has been more than disrespectful and rude. He has been violent in the past. We separated a few times before, went to marriage counseling, and started individual counseling, though I never went back. Not long after reconciling, drinking starts back up and the counseling and AA stop. )))
You have tried counseling, Rehab and AA, have reconciled and still it goes back to square 1 for you. The drinking, the disrespect, the rudeness and even violence against you.....which part of this are you expected to "like" about him or your marriage?
If you don't want him back, don't want to go thru the motions yet again...DON'T.
If you are over it, say so...... and let him either drink up or be a misery sober, whichever he wants, without making your life a hell.
Trust me honey, life is too darn short to waste it on people who waste theirs.