Originally Posted by
mygirlchandler 
I think you are in a domestic violence situation and it just so happens that the abuser smokes pot. Domestic abuse takes many forms, blaming you for everything, outburts of rage and violence, verbal, phsycial, and sexual abuse.
Your DD hiding under the computer desk should be your last straw.
You are doing everything on your own anyway. Why do you need to stick in with something that he's not even willing to put time/effort into?
You will feel better when he goes back to live with his mother. She can enable him all day and night. And if I were you, there would be no visitation unless he's passing a UA.
But I'm a bitch.
Holly - that is exactly the reason I stay. I am afraid that he will have unsupervised visitation with my daughter who is too young to protect herself. She falls for his antics. He depends on her love. It upsets me to see but I think it would be worse without me there. I haven't been able to get assurance that I could protect her in the event that we divorce. My son is 15, is from a previous relationship, but has been with my husband since he was 9 mo. old. He seems tougher about it all than my daughter is. I need to get the right advice on how to protect her. This board is painful for me to read but it is all true. Every post I read seems to give me more insight into what I need to do. Tonight I bought a car without him. Mine was 16 years old and was not safe anymore. His mother gave him a $23,000.00 car with leather interiors and pays for the maintenance, insurance and plates while I am driving around a rust bucket. She will say "well he needs to be safe" but I drive twice as much as him (nearly 600 miles a week - I am a sales rep) - go figure. Made him quite angry that I spent the money on a car without giving it to him - but after reading all of this I realized was essential as part of my getaway plan. Now if I can just figure out how to protect my daughter....