Originally Posted by
oshkoshberjosh 
It was all a fantasy I suppose. I really thought I would be over it by now. I probably would be if I didn't have to see him every day at work. It's a constant reminder of what I have lost.
I have another idea as well. It's like the chocolate cake that you shouldn't eat because you're a compulsive sugar eater. But you work in a bakery, and every once in awhile, you just have a few bites. What torture!
Oh, the tricks our minds play on us when we are trying to make something so. I truly believe that if you are interacting with this man more than just the necessary, brief, work-related way (maybe can't even do that) you will have a tough, tough time. That's based on my own experience. I wanted it this way and that way, and only after have no contact could I make the break emotionally.
If you have read a lot of these threads, you will see that many of us sell out our value system in order to be in the addict's life. It's sick, but it's what we do. You hit the nail on the head when you said that you don't fit in with these guys. You dont, and there are other, beautiful and healthier people out there that you WILL fit in with. Go find them.:ghug3