Oshkosh, Since you work with these people it's going to be very hard to cut them out of your life, unless you want to quit your job. You can still be friends with all of them, without judging them. If they use alcohol and weed that's their problem. Years ago I was in a similar situation and I remember a very wise woman telling me the meaning of being in it, but not of it. Go to work, do your job, and go home. If there is a business get together or something like that, you don't have to go, but if you decide to go, you don't have to do what they do, and you can leave when you want to. Now I know why my mother used to tell me the expression, you don't $hit where you eat. In other words don't date people from work. Sorry that this guy conned you into thinking he was straight and sober. The real true person surfaces eventually. Find yourself a nice guy and move on. Even though you like this guy and care for him, you also realize that he is a party person. That's not good for you. If I were you I wouldn't say anything to the people at work about how you feel about the way they party. Because it's not going to stop them from partying. And it might give them reason to dislike you. That would just make going to work a bit more difficult for you. Keep yourself neutral and keep your thoughts to yourself. I'm glad you were able to see that you don't want to be involved in that type of behavior. Good for you.