Big Tex, all of us here have been exactly where you are at many times. Took me a long time to realize that if I continued I was going to die. I wanted to live more than I wanted to die. Alcohol kicked my a** many times and finally put me down so hard I had a very difficult time getting back up. No body has to reach the bottom I reached to make the decision, yes, I am an alcoholic and my life is unmanageable. Make a decision to surrender and live a better life for your own sake and also for the sake of your family.
Harry