I'm so sorry. HOw hard to have seen that. I can not imagine hating yourself that much. and how frustrating b/c there truly is nothing you can do. doesn't it just stink to be in that position? I asked my SO to move out last Monday......the first day of our vacation. We were to start working on the house together. But he and his son got drunk on Saturday again and it was the last straw.
You know, I don't even know if we would be good together b/c the alcohol is so in the way. So right now I don't know how to feel. I am reading and re-reading Codependent No MOre and it is helping me tremendously. I am going to try and go to my first Al-Anon meeting enxt week.
I miss my SO so much. It is scary to be alone with two kids. hugs to you. but we did the right thing I am afraid.