Wow...what a mess. The thing is though, you are both adults and able to make your own decisions about where you live. Do you both work? I can't see any benefit at all in staying in all that madness. Even if you have to rent a small place somewhere for a while, that would be better than where you are living now. If you want to leave, then leave. Your wife can make her own decisions about going with you or staying put. You can't control her; you can only control yourself.