Originally Posted by
wren 
No, it's not easy for me to go. But living a drinking life is not easy either.
wren
I feel ya Wren. I liked my first couple meetings......then hated them (mostly) for the next, I dunno, 6 months...maybe more?
BUT... I sure as hell knew better than to NOT go. I knew what my alternative was and, as much as I didn't like AA or the dumb egotistical ppl at those stupid meetings who were all there trying to tell me how to "be" (that's what I thought about them at the time), I knew better than to stop coming to the meetings and I knew better than to stop working the program.
It wasn't because I necessarily wanted "this" - I just could NOT take anymore of what I'd been giving myself.
Nobody gets here glamorously but HOW we get here is irrelevant. What we do once we're here IS relevant.
Keep up the good work, keep up the openness and keep up the seeking!
You're on the right path my man. Congrats!