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trying much harder to stay sober

Old 10-09-2010, 08:32 PM
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trying much harder to stay sober

It's been a while since I checked in here. Thought it would be helpful to come back...

I've started going to AA meetings regularly. I'm trying to do the 90 meetings in 90 days route. Although I relapsed after 3 straight days of meetings, I am now back to one week sober, and I am going to a meeting nearly every day.

I realized that although I was sober for 3 months with hardly any AA, I also had some pretty insane bouts of drinking after I relapsed. Some of the scariest experiences I can remember resulting from drinking.

There have been a few meetings/people that have rubbed me the wrong way, but overall it's been a good experience, and I plan to follow this 90 day plan.

No, it's not easy for me to go. But living a drinking life is not easy either.

wren
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Old 10-09-2010, 08:58 PM
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Stick with it wren. As you probably already know, no matter how tough staying sober seems, drinking will always be worse. Do you have a sponsor yet in your meetings?

Steve
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Old 10-09-2010, 09:09 PM
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Originally Posted by DayWalker View Post
Stick with it wren. As you probably already know, no matter how tough staying sober seems, drinking will always be worse. Do you have a sponsor yet in your meetings?

Steve

I don't have a sponsor yet. I've been scoping out some people...
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Old 10-09-2010, 09:10 PM
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rode hard and put away wet
 
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I find that if you put me in any group - a jury, a class, work, etc.. there are always a few who rub me the wrong way. So meetings are like a slice of anything else in life. Just try to remember to put principals before personalities and you'll do fine!
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Old 10-10-2010, 01:02 AM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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I know how hard and how long you have been struggleing...
Glad to see you are off to a fresh start.

When I began my AA Steps....I felt a shift in perception
from often shaky sobriety into solid recovery...
I hope the same will be true for you.
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Old 10-18-2010, 08:53 PM
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I'm still sober, and I'm still going to meetings -- not quite every day, but almost. Overall, I feel really good about where I am.

I've been trying to make recovery my top priority. I don't know if it's the principles of AA or if it's being around other people who are in recovery; I don't know which is helping. It's probably some of both.
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Old 10-18-2010, 09:33 PM
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Thanks for the update wren - glad you're doing ok

D
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Old 10-18-2010, 09:33 PM
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Thanks for the update wren - glad you're doing ok

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Old 10-18-2010, 09:44 PM
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wren,

Never give up. Have you checked out Rational Recovery? It really helped me a lot.

Love,

Lenina
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Old 10-19-2010, 06:13 AM
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Wren,

Hope you get a sponsor soon and start doing the Step work. I found that just going to meetings and being around AA helped some, but eventually I needed something more. Not just to not drink, but to have a good life.

Congrats on your sober time--keep comin' back!
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Old 10-19-2010, 06:34 AM
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Originally Posted by wren View Post

No, it's not easy for me to go. But living a drinking life is not easy either.

wren
I feel ya Wren. I liked my first couple meetings......then hated them (mostly) for the next, I dunno, 6 months...maybe more?

BUT... I sure as hell knew better than to NOT go. I knew what my alternative was and, as much as I didn't like AA or the dumb egotistical ppl at those stupid meetings who were all there trying to tell me how to "be" (that's what I thought about them at the time), I knew better than to stop coming to the meetings and I knew better than to stop working the program.

It wasn't because I necessarily wanted "this" - I just could NOT take anymore of what I'd been giving myself.

Nobody gets here glamorously but HOW we get here is irrelevant. What we do once we're here IS relevant.

Keep up the good work, keep up the openness and keep up the seeking!

You're on the right path my man. Congrats!
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Old 10-19-2010, 08:44 AM
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Hey wren!
I was thinking about something today, and it was a new view of my 90/90. I had various views and feelings and thoughts about my 90/90 but I didn't think about one aspect of it that was really good: it gave me a very large selection of meetings that I would not have experienced otherwise. I did my 90/90 well into almost a year of AA-

I would not have discovered some of the meetings that I really like now if I had not done 90/90. I have a couple of meetings that I never miss and I wouldn't have gone to them if it wasn't for that 90/90.
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Old 10-19-2010, 09:10 AM
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Thanks for the words of support, you all.

I think it's a blessing in disguise that I'm mostly unemployed right now, so I have plenty of time to work on recovery, go to meetings, etc.

Some days when I'm feeling low for being poor and unemployed, I just realize how grateful I am to be sober and moving in the right direction.

I'm terrified of some of the AA step work. But I feel like I've "accomplished" steps 1 and 2 already.
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Old 10-19-2010, 09:27 AM
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i've done my almost
 
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Hi Wren-

Reading this post from top down put a big smile on my face.

It's not easy, but it is simple. I'm currently working on step 9 and most of the steps TERRIFIED me too, but you only need to take them one step at a time.

No need to worry about what's next, just have faith that this exact process has helped millions of alcoholics get and remain sober. We do recover and you my friend are about to be living proof of that exact fact!

...and enjoy the process as much as possible. Laugh at yourself. I had too or else I would have cried a lot more than I did
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