OH man..that situation stinks to high heavens!
I was in a similar situation helping my daughter and grandson. I wanted to help them.
She was going to college and raising that precious baby who had some health issues.
I didn't want her to get a job in addition to that.
But, the daddy was a free-loading, pot addict, who did nothing but play video games, lie to her and refuse all responsibilities.
And she was going crazy with it too.
I never did resolve it on my own.
She wound up blowing up at me...misplaced frustration, if you ask me.
I cut off the funds.
It took a few months and alot of heartache..but she did eventually throw him out.
Something I still don't understand is how I became the "bad guy" and unfortunately this still is unresolved.
In any case, she is in a better place.
He found someone else and is basically unchanged,...well, he did finally have to get a real job.
And I trust that someday...she and I will work this out.
The mother/daughter thing is fraught with complications naturally, I figure.
Your daughter will get SICK of it at some point.
So, really..no advice..just commiseration.
((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
It's tough being a mom!