You will see the sun again. And it will shine brighter. I promise.
Although its true we do not control others, one thing that is on our court is the people we chose to trust. I hope you can go to a therapist once you get back on your feet, so you never ever have to experience this pain again.
Your decision was a corageous one, I acknowledge that and applaud you for it. It takes guts. Many people stay in an abusive relation, or choose denial and keep on suffering and counting their losses. And as alcoholism has so close ties with violence, by the end, that fear is paid with life. As much as it hurts you are lucky you realized this before marrying. The wonderful people in this forum have suffered greatly and you saved yourself much pain.
Addiction, Lies and Relationships
Welcome and remember you are going through mourning, it will suck for a while but it will be over. This will make you stronger.
I broke up with an XABF 2 years ago. We work together but you know what ? it has really stopped being my concern. I am learning to like myself and love my life and go for what I truly want - I am whole in myself. I am currently busy thinking about my plans and potentials.
XABF promised the sky and stars, in the end he only gave me pain. Promised to change then did the same thing that hurt me over and over again. The last kick was going out with someone else almost right away and showing it off infront of me and common friends.
In our last conversation he said "now I can only strive not to commit the same mistakes"
I the fool got hurt by that comment. I believed he could change! just NOT for me! I believed he would be again the F i knew, charming, funny, friendly, relaxed and so many things which turned out to be gaslighting only.
2 years later? drinking the same or more. More, as he no longer arrives with a hangover to work. He arrives
still drunk and is often asleep in his cubicle. I tell ya stay with them long enough and you'll go insane!
I ended up not knowing if something ever was real - that hurt a great deal. But, my idea of joy is not the same as his. "Same planet, different worlds"
Welcome to SR!