I am so sorry for your disappointment and pain.
From where I sit, you show a great deal of wisdom, integrity (by sticking to your word), and courage.
Alcoholism is bigger than any of us...otherwise we wouldn't be here...
with alcohlism he has in a sense lost the power of choice..it is running his life
we talk about the three C's here:
You didn't CAUSE it.
You can't CONTROL it.
You can't CURE it.
It is heartbreaking to see our loved ones lose their lives into a bottle...but you are very wise to understand that it holds so much power that they will lie and unfortunately this will happen again and again because alcoholism is progressive it just keeps getting worse and worse.
It only gets better with abstinence and usually some sort of a recovery program.
And they will do that in their own time, not ours, if they are able to and willing to.
Many of us feel as or more hurt by the lies than the actual drinking. It's just a bad scene.
It most certainly is no reflection in any way, shape or form of your loveliness, attractiveness, goodness, virtue, commitment etc.
The hard truth is...it really isn't about you at all.
It's an isidous, cunning, baffling, powerful disease.
In time, when you have grieved and come to terms with the loss of this relationship, you will meet others and with your good judgement find someone who can be truly and fully engaged in a love relationship..
It will get better...promise!