Welcome to SR, notalone.
I got and stayed sober with the help of SR, my therapist, and myself. The depression didn't go away with the alcohol (I'd been depressed at least a year before I'd started drinking). I find it difficult to cope with life, especially when my depression gets in control. I'm back on meds and I'm feeling better. I haven't had a suicidal thought in about five days and that is amazing. I think I need to stick with meds...I just get discouraged when something stops working, the depression then gets an edge and then I just don't care and let everything go to crap.