hello, anewday, and welcome to sober recovery! i think you may have already seen that we are a group of caring folks, who have a lot of experience and are more than willing to share.
you have a huge burden, and likely have been towing the line and being strong for quite a long time. there is a let down that can happen, like a crack in the armor, yes?
however, when you described your husband's mini-wine-binge, that set off an alarm inside of me. i wonder if he has a bit of problem in himself, but generally controls or hides it quite well? i'm not trying to stir things up, but i think when we have a strong reaction and fight against it, we are in a way keeping a secret ourselves. our guts often tell us what we need to face.
truly not wishing to cause harm, but to acknowledge what was clearly painful for you.
may i suggest attending al-anon?