Okay folks I need to pick the collective brainpower here…
I’ve been no contact for six weeks; things are pretty stable in my life right now other than the typical loneliness and concern.
I had my attorney let my wife’s attorney know that if she sought treatment for alcoholism I would attend marriage counseling to see if we can move forward as husband and wife.
A week ago my attorney’s paralegal phoned and said the attorneys had spoken and that “wife was agreeable to counseling” but that I should wait for her to contact me…
Last night I got an e-mail from the wife explaining that her attorney had written the wrong e-mail in her correspondence?
No mention was made of a letter by my attorney’s paralegal nor have I received any such letter…
I did write back one sentence stating that I received no letter.
Moving forward into the realm of “what-if”..
If I agree to move forward toward trying to heal our marriage how can one tell if their spouse is sober?
I believed that the railing and mood swings were menopause last time around...until she passed out in a mud puddle in the back yard...I trusted her to control herself without antabuse….until I tasted vodka mouth at 6:00am.
There are severe trust issues that I need to deal with before I can even attempt counseling as a couple. The counselor I have been talking to for a couple of years is of the opinion that rehab and AA are the best course? It may very well be for her, but after being duped once to often I believe at this point that I need proof of sobriety whether it’s a breathalyzer or antabuse.
Have any of you who have stood by a spouse while they dealt with their addiction found a method of assuring yourself that your spouse was sober?
Many moons ago when I was in the service I worked in the military hospital and folks who couldn’t behave when drinking were ordered to take antabuse so I have firsthand knowledge of it’s effectiveness…if I insist on medication as a predecessor to marriage counseling would I somehow be in the wrong?
I realize I can’t control her behavior only mine but I also don’t want to waste my time or energy fruitlessly nor do I want my son exposed to the poor behavior or the healing process if I can help it … so my logic is that in order for me to invest my time I would need assurance of her credibility.
I’ve read and read here and have found precious few couples who have survived the broken trust associated with alcoholism…I don’t want to not try because I still love her as does my son but I would rather let the love go than have either of us subjected to poor behavior…
Thanks in advance!