So a few minutes ago I went upstairs to put towels and linens away after laundry. I go into the spare bedroom closet where I keep everything and figured it was a good time to bring out the flannel sheets to change over to since its been getting cold at night. I pull out the winter comforter set and underneath it was a box of wine. A FULL box of wine. Dammit.
For a fleeting moment I said to myself..I can have a bit today..and be sober by the time my husband gets home..its a nice day..one glass of wine will help me get my editing done and relax.
WHY do I do that?I have that inner conversation with my sick side justifying that it would make my day better...I know it wont.
I took that box downstairs, opened it and stuck a knife in the wine bag and let it drain down the sink. I didn't watch it..I let it drain and went back upstairs and finished what I was doing..
The whole time though I thought about that wine..that damn box of wine and how much money I wasted.
Then I realized if I had given in..I would've wasted the past 8 days of sobriety and feeling better about myself.
I keep telling myself i'm worth it...and maybe one day ..with time I will actually believe that..i'm not there yet..but i'm trying.
I'm just afraid of what other goodies I have stashed that I haven't found..I need a sweep team to come through my house with a wine sniffing dog lol
Anyways...made more coffee and i'm just gonna keep on keepin' on..