Good morning Bob,
Well done for another day sober!
Keep in mind that while alcohol is a major topic inside your brain, especially right now, most people at social events (unless they too have a drinking problem) aren't going to care whether you drink or not. "Normal" people just don't -- and you may get some compliments for taking care of your health. I spent a lot of time getting worked up about how to "defend" my not drinking to others before I realized that it's a big deal to me but not to many others.
There really is no religion in AA. There's even a whole chapter in the book about agnosticism and atheism, and how sometimes people from those backgrounds have greater success with AA than those who subscribe to a particular religion -- you can probably find this online. Also, there are two parts to AA: there is the "program" (working the 12 steps) and then there is the fellowship (going to meetings, which may or may not have anything to do with the 12 steps at all). You can do the latter without "joining the program" or identifying as an alcoholic or anything at all, other than having a desire to stop drinking. I say this because it sounds like you might be able to benefit just from sitting in a room with a bunch of people who have this problem in common with you.
Believe me, I am incredibly shy too (in school I was so quiet I hardly even talked). I used alcohol for years to compensate for that. And it turns out a lot of other drunks do, too! When I finally got the courage to go to a meeting, it was only because I knew I could sit there and not say anything. Yet it helps me enormously to hear other people who have struggled or are struggling with the very same things that go on in my brain. It helps me to see people who have been worse off than me and realize that if I go back to drinking, their life could be mine. And it helps me to see the number of people who have been sober for a year or more, not just not-drinking, but living happily.
Hang in there. We're in your corner.
