Hi Blondie, and welcome. I think that when I sat and thought about never drinking again, it made be irritable as well. It passed after a while, and then I slipped. How did you make it those 4 years? What can you add to that that would make you more successful? Really only you can decide what will make you be able to let the urges pass, but I agree with Lexie. If you haven't given your all to working the steps, then give that a try. At this point you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Good luck!