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Is there hope for me?

Old 10-03-2010, 10:14 AM
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Is there hope for me?

Here I am, trying to get sober.....again. I had 4 years of sobriety, then threw it away 2 years ago and have been trying to get sober ever since. I've had short periods of sobriety over the last two years but nothing lasting. I attend AA and have a sponsor. I just CANNOT seem to be strong enough to fight off that uncontrollable urge. Knowing that if I dont give in and drink, I will feel so discontent and irritable. I'm sure that it has to do with not surrendering completely or committing 100% no matter what. I want to, but the urge is too powerful, it overrides anything that I try to do to stay sober. So what is the answer? How have you all overcome the obsession to drink?

Thank you : )
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Old 10-03-2010, 10:21 AM
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I haven't had a serious urge since my first week sober, two years ago. In my case, I think it DID have to do with surrendering, a hundred percent. I had no reservations, no lurking suspicions that I could ever drink normally. I tried it, for four and a half years, without success. I was, quite simply, DONE.

How thoroughly have you worked the Steps? I know for a lot of people, they did not get relief from the urges until they did that.

I was very slow to work them, but after finding I was still restless, irritable and discontented (despite not having an urge to drink to make the feeling go away), I am now working them with my sponsor.
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Old 10-03-2010, 10:28 AM
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Hi Blondie, and welcome. I think that when I sat and thought about never drinking again, it made be irritable as well. It passed after a while, and then I slipped. How did you make it those 4 years? What can you add to that that would make you more successful? Really only you can decide what will make you be able to let the urges pass, but I agree with Lexie. If you haven't given your all to working the steps, then give that a try. At this point you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Good luck!
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Old 10-03-2010, 12:03 PM
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I don't know how or why it happened but around five or six months sober I just lost the desire to drink. It just went away. I am not in AA and did not work the steps when I was in it, but my urge to drink just vanished.

I attibute my success to two things: my friends' support and advice here, and my weekly sessions with my addiction counselor. Also to my dogs, who are my life. I wanted to be sober for them.
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Old 10-03-2010, 12:55 PM
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I realised one day In July that I was too dependant on Drink and that it was ruining my life. The Binges were becoming worse and my last Hangover was the worst one i can remember. I would hate to suffer another one like that so I decided * No More for ever *
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Old 10-03-2010, 01:18 PM
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There is always hope.

The urge to drink will lessen as time goes by. Sometimes it takes awhile, but it will go away.
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Old 10-03-2010, 01:21 PM
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Many alcoholics become irritable and discontent when they put down the drink. At least you have a chance to address the underlying issues of what is causing you to feel irritable and discontent. The issue could simply be the cravings and not able to satisfy it or there could be other underlying symptoms. I don't know you enough to form an honest opinion, but that is what a sponsor is for. Have you talked to your sponsor about this?

If your irritability and discontentment is simply coming from the cravings and not being able to satisfy them, then you need to learn some tools on how to deal with them. Surrendering to the fact that you are an alcoholic and bad stuff happens when you drink may help.

Another important tool is to dismiss the thought of drinking when it comes into your head with healthier and more positive thoughts. This may take some practice, but you can do it. Remember that you may have no control over the thoughts that come into your head, but you do have control whether you entertain them or not.

Here are some tools that have helped me to stay away from the first drink.

1. Once that thought moves in, kill it, and move on to a more positive thought.
2. I look towards sober mornings. I love waking up sober and never regretted the fact that I didn't drink the night before.
3. Remember the first one gets you drunk.
4. Think the drink through. While a "couple" may sound nice, I over shoot a couple every time and end up drunk late at night and usually in a bad place. I especially hate the morning after.
5. Remember your last drunk, a bad drunk, the stupid stuff you have done, the trouble and pain it has caused, why you are posting here, etc.
6. Reach out for help BEFORE you take your first drink, not AFTER.
8. Remember, it gets better and "this too shall pass".
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Old 10-03-2010, 01:38 PM
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Hi Blondie - welcome back.

Lots of good advice here.
I believe no ones beyond hope

For me, accepting I was an alcoholic was the key - once I accepted that alcohol was like poison to me and the only rational solution was not to drink it anymore, things got better for me - it still took a lot of work, but they really did get better

Good to have you with us again.

D
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Old 10-03-2010, 06:20 PM
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Hi blondie - I had a few long periods of sobriety followed by equally long periods of drinking. I did the AA thing each time, too.

I think each person's approach to sobriety is going to be a little different, so maybe you need a little more than AA (perhaps counseling?), or maybe there are things in your life that are too stressful....? I don't know - just throwing a couple ideas at you.

For me (this time) I did a little more self-help stuff. I had stronger cravings than I did the first couple of times getting sober, and I learned to get through them. There were evenings that I spent reading on SR. I found other ways to occupy my time and tried different tricks to get through the hard times. It's not fun going through the initial days, but I feel like a stronger person now and after 5 months I have very few desire thoughts.

I just decided that I was willing to put in the time to work on this (like my life depended on it - because it does!), in hopes that things would eventually get better. And they have, even beyond my expectations.

Hang in there.:ghug3
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Old 10-03-2010, 06:41 PM
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Originally Posted by blondie32 View Post
I attend AA and have a sponsor. I just CANNOT seem to be strong enough to fight off that uncontrollable urge.
Of course you can't.......I can't either.......nor can any other real alcoholic. That's what "powerless over alcohol" means and that's why we work the steps - to find strenght/power from a power greater than ourselves. The steps are the map TO that power.

Originally Posted by blondie32 View Post
So what is the answer? How have you all overcome the obsession to drink?
What I did: I had to admit in my heart that I was a hopeless alcoholic - that the best I could do on my own was deal with constant urges (that usually took me back out) and continually relapse....just like I had always done. Now I couldn't make that admission (and know, down to my core, that it was true) without a TON of honesty and openness in looking back at my drinking history and seeing what really happened rather than what should-of or could-of happened.

"We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed." (AA - Big Book p30)

FULLY CONCEDE TO OUR INNERMOST SELVES....that needs to happen or there's no recovery possible. I'd assume just about every other recovery program out there would also encourage similar honesty - you've got to know IF you are one or not. And if you're one of us (alcoholics), you better know it with no reservations otherwise you're not going to be willing to do everything you'll need to to get past it. As long as I believed I wasn't an alcoholic, there was NO WAY I was ever going to do all the stuff alcoholics need to do to be recovered.

***oh yeah........ YES THERE'S A CHANCE FOR YOU. IN FACT, THERE ARE SEVERAL HUNDRED PROMISES IN THAT AA BOOK. YOU'RE WELCOME TO ALL OF THEM IF YOU'D LIKE EM
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Old 10-03-2010, 07:30 PM
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UGGGG I hear you Blondie loud and clear . I had the intension to quit drinking too but I have now been drinking 3 days straight . Where is the hope in this ???? Need strenght dont seem to have it
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Old 10-03-2010, 08:09 PM
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OneWay,

I found a lot of hope the first time I walked into an AA meeting for myself. Nothing like seeing happy, recovered people only too eager to show you how to do it.
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Old 10-04-2010, 12:24 AM
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Blondie there is good input in this thread.

I found that I needed to accept that I was an alcoholic and that I could never drink again. From there I felt nervous, scared and the pull of bottle was strong because for so many years it was part of my daily routine.

Recovery for me was critical and it came in stages. I kept it simple at first knowing that I will not drink today. Finding activities and such to keep me occupied during my trigger times. Baby steps.

From there I began getting support for underlying issues and I began to build self esteem again (sadly many of us lose that due to our addictions) and starting eating healthy, getting out and about. Each day and each positive experience was something to build on and strengthen my determination to do a bit more.

I find now because I have worked very hard that my life is blessed in sobriety. I don't think about having a drink anymore and the idea of hopelessness is completely gone. I look at all I have accomplished which is now quite a bit but in those early days and first few months were just isolated events if that makes sense. It is now that I see the full picture and see all that I have done in this short time.

You can do it. Find a program of support that you connect with and work it. While I no longer do my sessions as frequent as I did at first....I still go and I find that there is always something new to learn. I keep with that support and of course I come to SR quite often. I may no longer come here to help me stay sober but now I hope that I use my experience and what I did to help others as so many were there for me when I had no clue which end is up.

Everyday it gets better and so many of us have crossed over to healthy lives in sobriety and we are solid in our recovery. Sobriety is a new life my friend.

Keep reading and sharing. We are here for you
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