"i guess i would feel more comfortable if it was your wife that shifted homes and that your presence was the one in the home."
Believe me, so would I!
... however, the forensic psych in her role as mediator explained that she had to reach a middle ground between what we both want. So my concession is that I will move out.
In terms of monitoring her drinking, it has been made clear to the child minder that she need fear no repercussions to her employment if, in subsequent interviews she reveals that AW has been drinking. Simply put, she works for both of us, not AW exclusively. We have also had many private conversations about AW's addiction. We are on the same page about it.
In terms of my finances, I want that settled before I move out. Her maintenance claim is outrageous, more than 2/3 of my salary LOL. My laywer just laughed at it and said, ah, they always shoot for the moon. In reality, my contribution is worked out to a formula based on what I earn.
Nothing in this arrangement is getting agreed to by me before my lawyer gives it the nod.