Thanks for the responses everyone, it was helpful, this forum is great, glad I found it. My wife is definitely not drinking anymore, I think the main reason this came to a head was that I found out through a friend about her cheating and decided that it must be dealt with, more so because of the lying and trust aspect even after all this time since it made our marriage what it is today "a wreck" I had considered alanon and counseling, but decided against since I felt it would be futile in a one way "honesty" relationship. My wife thinks I have slipped off the deep end for doing this, or I am going through a midlife crisis or something, but what was brought up here about honesty and trust is really in my opinion also, that a marriage is doomed without it. It was definitely good to get some other peoples point of view on it. Thanks all
