I'm sorry you're going through such a rough spot.
Jen is right...decide on the "when" of your separation based on your timeline. Yes, you will be unpopular in some circles. So what? You're not doing this for popularity's sake, you're doing this so you can finally live a happy, healthy and SANE life.
FTR, an ex boyfriend pulled the cancer card on me when I was going to break up with him. I never quite knew what happened, but he certainly villified me in certain circles as the horrid gf who dumped the dude with cancer. In the end, it turns out he didn't have cancer, and boy did I feel angry that I stayed with him for several months after the "announcement".
You'll get through this. We're here for you
