Kinda wanted to vent and give an update on my situation. Last Monday, we broke up. I was very surprised. He told he he didnt know if he loved me now that hes sober. Well, Saturday I talked to him and was informed hes dating someone already, someone he knew from high school, and went back to blaming me for every relationship problem we had and told me his family thinks that its a good idea to leave me and be with this mystery girl. Also, that hes not attracted to me now that hes sober, his "standards are higher now".
Im coping. I still go to therapy, and Nar-Anon. I havent talked to him since. Im very much hurt by this. I keep telling myself that Im better off, that hes putting up red flags that he isnt taking his recovery seriously; getting a new gf, blaming others, denying hes an addict. I keep going over our entire relationship and asking myself, what was so great about it? What do I love about this guy? And I keep coming up short. What Im confused about is how he could act that drugs could blind him for more than a year, that he could fall in love and compliment me, and tell me all the things he said in that duration, and all of a sudden since hes clean for a month and a half, everything has changed? There were sober times in our relationship that he would express his love, granted not as sweetly or boldy as when he was high. Is this something that happens a lot? An addict gets "clean" and stops loving his significant other and finds himself not attracted to her anymore? I heard theres a chance that I might not love HIM as a sober person, but really? He hasnt even had a fair chance to test our relationship while hes sober, so how the hell would he know? Is he just trying to hurt me?