Well I guess I can still say I quit drinking. Painkillers aren't my problem. I just felt there was no reprieve and I was so torn up about drinking- I wanted it so badly . I hit my limit. Painkillers just happened to be available.
Oddly, I felt more upset after therapy yesterday than before I went. I had lapsed into a sort of hopeless apathy about my situation (they screwed up my meds, and my therapist did not call me back when I needed her to) and after discussing it with her I was in a state I can't describe. Beyond agitated.
I don't fel like taking anymore painkillers. They aren't something I crave or anything.