HURTING: Goodness, our stories are so similiar.
Yes, he's going to need to be emotionally tuned out because he cannot grasp the enormity of what he's done yet.
Sobriety needs to be their #1 priority and even though that hurts like a son of a b*itch because you're left picking up the pieces, you need to allow him his space and time to focus on what he's done and how he can work to make his changes. But in the meantime, you get the gift of time to change as well.
You need to regain trust in him and the ONLY way to do that is to allow him to change and show you he can be trusted again.
I said the same thing, I had no idea how hard this was going to be, and it is hard, really hard! It's a minute by minute struggle with me.