Well, yesterday was my birthday, and I told him weeks ago that I would not tolerate this way of life much longer, without an 'end date'. When he said he didn't have money to do anything for my birthday at all (but money to pick up a fifth of Jim Beam every day), last Saturday, I told him that the thing I wanted most of all for my birthday was freedom from Jim Beam. Whether it was him figuring out how to get Jim Beam out of his life and thus out of ours, or whether he and Mr. Beam needed to hit the road.
So, no, I didn't give him much notice at all.
From Saturday through Tuesday, I honestly thought he'd found a way to stay sober. I thought he was!! Then, I found the bottles he'd been hiding from mel.
So, last night, on my birthday, I very calmly let him know that he needed to do his recovery elsewhere. That I couldn't watch it and that I couldn't tolerate lies and deception in any manner.
He agreed to pack and leave today. He has piled up some clothing and some things, but he's still not gone. He asked last night what we should do with 'his' stuff, and I said that we could have it here for when he was healthy and could come back, but that was not 'indefinitely'. I told him I wasn't sure how long I could have the stuff hanging around.
Should I give a time limit?
He told me today he wasn't sure what would happen to him.
Should I call his mom, or one of his aunts whom I do trust a lot?!
I feel paralyzed with fear of doing the wrong thing.