Okay,there's this incident that happened a while ago,i didnt learn much from it back then but i hope it helps you,even if you are not ready to make dramatic choices now it's still useful to hear some opinions.
I went to pick up my ABF after he spent the night in jail for hitting a man with his car,ofcourse as you can tell he was using before the accident happened.
He spent the night in jail,the man's family pressed charges and he had a court thing he had to deal with,i couldnt sleep that night. he wanted me to pick him up , the first thing he said is he needed to use! He spent the next couple of hours calling whoever could hook up with drugs. I couldnt beleive he still wanted to use after all.
My point is Steve, it doesnt mater what you do,the using is not controllable by you.Hope that helps.